Saturday, May 05, 2007

Well, I saw it- Spiderman 3 review, and then some

yes, yes yes

I've not traversed through these parts in a Peruvian minute

but isn't the fact that I'm here now all that really matters?



well, the year of the Geek has been smoothly rolling on, until

UNTIL

the unthinkable

BUT, before I get to the point that dragged me away from my

chronic, non-contributory, lurking laziness

let's briefly, but fondly recall the good stuff

300

'nuf said. film ROCKed! the 3 useless flesh=soft pr0n scenes were

as unwelcomed as a hot poker in my eye but overall the movie is a

keeper.

TMNT

Cowabunga dudes! my childhood heroes live on! in honor, I think

I'll heat up a Digiorno

BSG

k, I can't talk about this one. every time I remember that I have to

wait until JAN for an explanation of the watchtower I start having

seizure like tremors. It gets ugly.

only thing I'll say is: if you aren't watching the new Battlestar

then you need to seek professional help. b/c obviously you don't

like yourself very much and are this [] closest to driving off a

bridge- but that's because you can't see the gleaming guard rails

in front of you.

Heroes

heheheeeheheeeeehhhhhhgiggddinessssgggiiiddinnessssYatta!

k

Smallville

has actually continued an upward trend of good shows, especially

the LONG needed Lex-Clark friendship/nemesis conversation

4400

oh when, oh when will my show come back
show come back
show come back
oh when, oh when will my show come back
I need a replacement for battlestar


season 3 of Dr Who

not that I, an American, have actually seen it yet

hehehheeee

EXCELLENT! or should I say Brill ant!


sigh

humph

sigh

deep breathe

k

first the bull horn

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I planned out, weeks ago, an appropriately colored outfit to wear to

a place where no one important would actually see me in honor of

the movie theme

I mercilessly tormented my co-workers Friday with my fangirl

fanaticism regarding the opening weekend

I braved a torrential rainstorm that threatened to blow my car off

the road, IF I was even ON the road since I couldn't see anything

except the water, just to go to the theatre today

and I held my bladder for 2.5 hours trying not to miss the next

scene which surely would be better than the one I just saw....

k

Spiderman 3 did not suck

BUT

there was an odor

it smelled like too much Urkel
mixed with a chunk of Gilmore Girls
and blended with a LOST like disregard for character longevity

I was disappointed

a buddy of mine, by the name of Bud (can you believe I'm actually
quoting you? the world is really coming to an end)
said several months past that he was scared for Spiderman 3

since this same bloke naysays just about EVERYTHING, except zombie
movies (get the picture) I totally ignored his doubt

I said- Sam Ramie is a geek; Sam Ramie is careful; Sam Ramie

realizes with the ridiculous amount of money plopped down for this

movie people are going to have to want to see it over and over

again

Well



k- did you notice the spoiler banner above? good

I LOVE the 5 second Singing in the Rain bit in S2
perfect timing, unexpected, delightful

Why, oh WHY did they try to re-mine that bit for 30 minutes!
(maybe not that long but it sure did seem like it)

Spidey and MJ fighting, yeah it's predictable for a vain starlett

to feel like second fiddle to her top billed boyfriend
and yes, Peter should have gotten champagne in his face for sharing

the crucial kiss with another woman
and it was GREAT watching Harry twist Pete's heart with the MJ

knife
BUT
[sigh] they should have minimized the mushy stuff

yup

why, do you ask?

b/c I came to see a SPIDERMAN film- not these are the Days of a

Spider

k

I love BSG's "space opera" moments, when they ARE moments
Plus, they fit with the nature and purpose of the show

but in S3 they were long winded, over-acted, and just plain

obtrusive

Twist and Shout? Come ON!



and the final sting

why must they kill off every hard core spidey villian at the end?
I realllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy would have loved to see a round two
with Doc Ock

hey, comic books go on for DECADES without the permanent eraser
being applied

I know there's web talk about Venom rising up from the gloppy ashes

I hope so 'cause Topher totally pwned that role

but in the meantime. in the speculation free reality- I'm ticked

plus, why did they have to off Harry? just when he started to

become actually useful? was it too much Two-Face like that they

feared a court battle?

hangs flinging up in the air

final summation

I didn't hate the film overall

and if I hadn't been drive to a demented state since LAST YEAR in

anticipation, I may even have had some words of praise (hey,

despite their flaws, I really like X3 and Fantastic Four)

but
BUT

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTt

I am disappointed

my bubble was burst

my giggles were glued to the floor

and my head shook in disbelief at various time during the movie

Ramie- you did me wrong

I suggest you and Brian Singer go sit in you rooms and THINK about

what you have done

Tisk

Wuo-What?

6 comments:

Sammy doo-dah said...

I have a couple things to say…..

First of all, your blog is an eye strain with that double spacing.
Second, Spiderman sucked sucked Sucked Sucked SUCKED SUCKED!!!!
Did I mention that Spiderman sucked?

What’s up with Peter thinking he’s a pimp now? The whole John Travoltaish-walking-down-the-street bit was a little much and the dance breaks…was I watching Saturday Night Fever or Staying Alive? Maybe so, but I don’t remember getting up from my seat. That whole dance routine in the bar was even more over the top. It was ridiculous, corny, and a little too West Side Story for me. Who thought of that? I mean really, who thought of that???

The characters were not overly likeable or hatable. The most likeable character is killed off in the end. I mean Harry, not Venom. You like him as a villain because he’s relentless and you like him as a good guy because he’s gorgeous and has the most amazing smile. Letting Harry die was one of the biggest mistakes of the movie. I will admit though that Venom is kinda funny: when he’s standing outside the bar looking all pitiful like his puppy died because Peter made him lose his job and took his girl (it reminded me of the video from this old song called The Rain by Oran “Juice” Jones…it’s hilarious…do a search and find the video), when he’s in the church praying that God let Peter die, and when he tells Peter during their battle in a reassuring voice that he likes “being bad.”

It had a couple of good parts, but overall it was a depressing movie. People were sniffing and wiping tears as they exited the theater. Children were silent and sullen-face. I really wasn’t in the mood to cry. You go to a Spiderman movie hyped up and ready for action, not ready for gloom and tears.

Nicky Fingaz said...

Wuowho, you need to calm down and write full sentences and paragraphs. Thanks. Maybe use word program before you post it.

“300” still is very ehh to me, but great if you’re a fan of racial hierarchy infused fascism. Nothing like a neo-nazi propaganda film to get you going in the morning.

“TMNT” didn’t see it. I remember and like the comic better than the cartoons.

“BSG” It’s a good show, but professional help is not needed for not watching a TV show. Shoot we’d all probably be better off with less/no boob tube.

“Heroes” Still ain’t watching with any consistency. It’s okay.

“Smallville” don’t watch it.

“Dr Who” pretty good from what I saw.

“Spiderman 3” SPOILERS – It was okay. I felt it was too busy with too many villains. I don’t think it let the audience deal with any of them enough. Green Goblin Jr didn’t even have a goblinesque mask, eh. Not sure I liked them knocking off Jr either.

Sandman as actual killer of Ben Parker? No thanks. Otherwise decent portrayal of Sandman. I enjoyed the origin scene.

Venom. I didn’t like the Eddie Brock casting much. I didn’t like the dark vengeance theme as the latch into Peter. I didn’t really like how they handled Venom at all. I liked Venom when he first came out in the comics. Then the publishers saw how popular he was and abused him and so I’ve gained a rather large distaste for Venom as a character.

Digression - I had a very similar reaction with Wolverine. I was an X-men fan. My faves were Colossus, Nightcrawler and Wolverine. Wolverine got so blown up I am no longer a Wolverine fan at all. This all happened to me mentally in the 1990s. So by the time the X-Men movies came out I was fairly sick of Wolverine. He did a good job, but once again it’s all Wolvie-centric and it’s very irritating.

MJ and Peter sappy moments were a little too sappy and should have been done more with body language than verbal. Secondly, I didn’t buy the fighting too much. Any “nice guy” worth any kind of clout would know not to kiss Gwen Stacy. Peter is nice guy puppydog ridiculousness, so that should have been dodged. I enjoyed the corny badness of bad Peter.

Spidey was a lil too dark for me as well.

Fantastic Four was mediocre at best, especially they’re butchering of Dr Doom.

X-Men 1 was good. X-Men 2 was very good. X-Men 3 was straight up booty. Primary complaint was the lack of character consistency of Phoenix persona of Jean Grey. She was the released Id of Jean, killed Xavier for bossing her around, but then acts like a Stepford Wife and obeys Magneto’s every order. Stupid. Secondary complaint was Wolverine-centrism. Tertiary complaint was the bridge moving sequence. Goes from daylight to night with no air force jets scrambled or anything. No authorities, nada, bupkiss.

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