Children of the Corn (2009)

Full disclosure- This remake of Children of the Corn was done by the people at SyFy.  That being said, I thought it would be a great horror movie for my 10yo that wanted to watch a scary movie.  That is, until the random teenage kid, 5 minute long, sex scene came on 1:45 into the movie.  Yowza. 

The story is actually closer to the Stephen King short story than the original version, but the pace was much slower.  It kind of holds your hand and explains pretty much everything, but that was great for my daughter. 

The acting is where this one falls down.  Dualla from BSG is in it and she totally sucks.  Every line she had, I kept hoping that they would kill her and do it soon (the character, not the actress).  The kids while not horrible, were nowhere near as creepy as the original children. 

Your Pretty, D, but your acting is suspect at best.

The violence in this one seems to be more graphic than what I remember of the original.  Gore does not equal scare though, as it just didn’t creep me out like the original did.  I didn’t feel threatened by these kids, while just looking at the face of the kids in the original, you can’t help but think they are pure evil.

Overall, not a bad movie.  By Syfy standards, it is Oscar worthy.  It wasn’t a good movie.  The random scene with nudity was a bit much and I guess was used to illustrate where babies come from, the original did that with just showing one of the teen girls as pregnant.  I couldn’t help but compare this version to the original, which both is and isn’t fair.  It didn’t have the budget of the original, I am sure, but it is a remake and remakes get compared.  I would opt for the original if you are only going to watch one.  It scared my daughter, so mission accomplished. 

The Human Centipede(2009)-Movie Review

Have you ever heard so many people say that a movie is disgusting and a waste of film that you had to check it out for yourself.  That is pretty much what happened with the Human Centipede and me.

Even some horror bloggers didn't care for this one.  It falls into the torture porn genre, I guess.  I personally see it as a mad scientist type movie as the good Dr's purpose was not to torture but to experiment.

If you haven't heard about this movie, the plot is basically that a mad scientist want to join three people mouth to anus to form a human centipede.  That is pretty much the entire movie.  I guess the torture porn label is kind of apt as the soundtrack is overwhelmed by whimpering, screaming, and sobbing for the most part.

The acting was okay.  It was a low budget film, but all most of the actors had to do was scream and cry.  Not a lot of depth needed.  Dieter was sufficiently creepy.  The girls may get some more scream time in other movies as they are attractive and proved that they are capable.

Overall, it wasn't a great movie, but it wasn't as bad as what everyone led me to believe.  I wouldn't say I enjoyed the movie, but I didn't not enjoy it either.  It was suspenseful and creepy which is what I wanted it to be.  I don't know if saw fans will like it as their is no elaborate contraptions or schemes.  Not sure about Hostel fans either as it isn't really a torture flick.  I would say the best match would be those that like weird Japanese movies.

The second movie is out and I am pretty sure that they upped the weird as it has been banned in the UK.