This episode, I have to figure out something about the competing thief and what the heck is he talking about. Secondly, I did a little editing and will try to remain consistent within 3rd person limited, 1 character POV per scene. I do plan on hopping heads though.
The competing thief. He must have different combat abilities and magics than these two. Secondly, he needs to be confusing to the protags. I think I’ll have him be affected by magic spell that damaged his brain during prior case theft attempt.
THE COMPETING THIEF - David "Fiery Rain" McGill
He stole the MacGuffin first and triggered a defense that had multiple effects - temporary madness, magic/reality warping near the victim, predatory magical creature attraction. It is known as the Rem Delirium Curse of Devil's Harmony Cervantes originating in 1810 A.D, Spain. His partners ditched him and sold they the MacGuffin to a broker and then to Hugo Lamb. Thief recovered his senses, tracked down backstabbing partners (Milton Hilliard and Linda Ducksworth), then the broker (Bryston Suttles), and now is following the transport.
Abilities: Good combat. Fiery Rain is known by this moniker as he creates a glowing orange sphere in his palm, which can emit a barrage of fiery projectiles that look similar to orange/yellow tracer bullets. Magic of course.
I decided to figure out the MacGuffin and it is known as The Supenaturalist Almanac. It’s an abnormally powerful laptop with a private and extensive database of worldwide bizarre magical and unexplained phenomena. There are no hoaxes here, these are the real deal, and some may have very important supernatural resources to exploit.
THIS SECTION OF STORY
Very different level of detail in this section. Different day different mood. On other drafts, 1st section will likely grow some meat on it as well.
And back to the story.
ICARUS ON THE PHONE W/DAEDALUS. DAEDALUS HAS RESERVATIONS ABOUT THIS JOB, THEY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MACGUFFIN LAST NIGHT. ICARUS REASSURES AND REMINDS DAEDALUS ONCE IT GETS TO MONDRIAN HQ THEY’VE MISSED THEY’RE OPPORTUNITY TO GET THE MACGUFFIN. “TOO LATE NOW.” ICARUS LEAPS OFF OF A BUILDING AND LANDS ON TRUCK.
2:20 AM, January 30th, 2019, Optimus, Tennessee, U.S.A., Earth, Universe 742.
Icarus paced, the air warmer than the heart of the last three women he had slept with. He felt the low caffeine-like levels of adrenaline that usually came at this time. He rechecked his gear when he heard a little voice in his ear.
“I don’t think this is a wise move. We can still call it off you know,” came the mellow tones of Daedalus over the earpiece. Only Icarus and Daed’s family would realize that he was actually worried.
“Are you an old woman?” Icarus pulled out his nightvision goggles, his favorite pair, Owl-360 model, reminded him of old movie Aviator goggles. I’m like a kickass Snoopy he thought to himself. He slipped it onto his forehead.
“Your mother knows otherwise.”
“Nice. Now, that’s my bro who kicked an entire police squad’s asses.” Icarus slipped the goggles down where it fit above his black and red menpo. He played with the dials making sure the adjustable nightvision was calibrated correctly. He tested the goggles’ light-adapters by looking from the night sky down to the streetlamped overpass with its minimal traffic. Smooth function.
“That’s an exaggeration and you’re dodging the point. We don’t even know what’s in the case, just that it’s important to Hugo Lamb.”
“And that’s enough for me. We have to take the shots we get.” Icarus spotted a driver speeding and swerving and knew that within twenty minutes Mr. Nascar will have crashed the car.
“Yeah, I know but…”
“But nothing. Mondrian and his estate have higher security, this is a cakewalk in comparison.” He could feel Daed caving in.
“Yeah, but we’ve had no prep time.”
Coming around the corner was the tractor-trailer he’d been waiting for. It looked perfectly ordinary, but Icarus knew the case was there. He thanked Carl in his head for the tip that led them there.
“Prep time is shorter than you think. It’s showtime.” The truck drove past. Timing had to be perfect. Icarus ran and leapt thirty feet down towards the moving truck.
COMPETING THIEF SEES ICARUS LAND ON TRUCK AND IS TICKED OFF THAT SOMEONE ELSE PICKED THE SAME TIME TO STRIKE.
Fiery Rain McGill gritted his teeth, attempting to maintain his composure through a storm of feelings, distorted perceptions and racing tangential thoughts. He sat in a navy electric SUV, engine running, watching someone land on the truck. He turned the old fashioned radio to AM and surfed to a stationless station of white noise, which seemed to help him concentrate. He drove onto the highway and began to follow the truck, hoping the man on top was a hallucination brought on by the rem delirium curse he had been enduring this past week.
His mind wandered as he followed the truck. He thought of his kids and his ex-wife. He knew he’d wronged her and while that kind of thing didn’t bother him on the job, she was different and it hurt to think about what he’d done. He wasn’t mad at her for leaving anymore. He regretted sleeping with her sister, but they were drunk and she was hot and he knew his excuses were weak and true at the same time. At least she let him see the kids.
Out of the periphery of his vision he saw the cup holder, slowly travel along the floor and up the passenger side door, stop there, and vibrate with distant church bells he was hearing. The small vid screen near the rear mirror kicked on and showed a recording of his recent betrayal by Milton and Linda. It was soundless and poorly shot like a security camera. Part of him knew it wasn’t real but he kept flicking his eyes back and forth from the road to the vid.
He saw all three of them hovering around a safe, with himself at the safe picking the electronic lock when all of a sudden he saw his body fall back and shake, he saw his body rise up and saw himself talking to things that weren’t there as Milt and Linda slipped around him, took the case and left him there to get caught. His eyes had been locked on the vid too long, he looked up and saw an impending wall, he abruptly turned the wheel, right wheels coming off the ground slightly, but uncrashed.
He dug his nails deep into his left hand drawing blood. He needed concentration somehow. He couldn’t start to think about how the dashed white lines started to look like morse code. He knew the morse code was a message from his ex-wife at the same time as he knew none of this was happening. He turned up the white noise and opened the window to get some cold air. The truck was still there, at least he hoped it was the real truck.
I think I may write the entire 1st draft with section headings still in place before I do another post. I don’t want this to take 200 posts for a darn short story.