Wednesday, November 29, 2006

BSG SPOILER ** BSG SPOILER - yeah right

found this little tibit and thought i'd share it with ya:


I've been looking at all the reviews from all the Scifigeek sites and magazines saying the 2nd half of season 3 "will contain lots of mind-bending bizarre stuff"... and I just realized what's going to happen.

Tom Zarek is going to wake up and realize he's been hallucinating inside a whited-out Viper being sucked into a giant crystal space lounge, and he's really Apollo.

Don Johnson is a cylon, and he's going to show up as an MP and report to Adama, who will suddenly put on a really skinny tie and stop talking, preferring to just look grim.

Meanwhile, recon parties on the new planet will find the crashed Starship Enterprise, and return to Galactica with Scott Bakula, who will be temporarily inhabiting the body of ~~who else~~ Shatner.

Why Shatner? Because he's directing, that's why.

Bakula will see Stockwell on Galactica, and realize the entire nightmare is just an episode of Quantum Leap, at which point the holodeck doors will open, and the Cylon skinjobs will walk in, revealing that the entire Galactica experience has been a simulation being run back on Caprica, where

Patrick Stewart is the Number One Cylon.

He will offer a choice of two pills to Colonel Tigh, who will opt for the truth. At which point the show will spontaneously combust, since even science fiction cannot credibly handle the notion that Tigh is The One.

Baltar will go on to judge American Idol,
Starbuck will feature prominently in Dukes of Hazzard 4,
Roslyn will convince Shatner to do a remake of Out of Africa, for no good reason whatsoever.



It's a gift I have, these epiphanies. Sorry I forgot to do a spoiler alert.

1 comment:

Nicky Fingaz said...

If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd been smoking something illegal.