I’ll be diving into the plot outline I wrote last time. I start with my all caps scene descriptions and then start writing those scenes until it’s time for the next one.
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ICARUS ON THE PHONE W/DAEDALUS. DAEDALUS HAS RESERVATIONS ABOUT THIS JOB, THEY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE MACGUFFIN LAST NIGHT. ICARUS REASSURES AND REMINDS DAEDALUS ONCE IT GETS TO MONDRIAN HQ THEY’VE MISSED THEY’RE OPPORTUNITY TO GET THE MACGUFFIN. “TOO LATE NOW.” ICARUS LEAPS OFF OF A BUILDING AND LANDS ON TRUCK.
2:20 AM, January 30th, 2012, Optimus, Tennessee, U.S.A., Earth, Universe 742.
Icarus paced, the air warmer than the heart of the last three women he had slept with. Weird for January. He felt the low caffeine-like levels of adrenaline that usually came at this time. He rechecked his gear when he heard a little voice in his ear.
“I don’t think this is a wise move. We can still call it off you know,” came the mellow tones of Daedalus over the earpiece. Only Icarus and Daed’s family would realize that he was actually worried.
“Are you an old woman?” Icarus pulled out his nightvision goggles, his favorite pair, Owl-360 model, reminded him of old movie Aviator goggles. I’m like a kickass Snoopy. He slipped it onto his forehead.
“Your mother knows otherwise.”
“Nice. Now, that’s my bro who kicked an entire police squad’s asses.” Icarus slipped the goggles down where it fit above his black and red menpo. He played with the dials making sure the adjustable nightvision was calibrated correctly. He tested the goggles’ light-adapters by looking from the night sky down to the streetlamped overpass with its minimal traffic. Green is for go.
“That’s an exaggeration and you’re dodging the point. We don’t even know what’s in the case, just that it’s important to Hugo Lamb.”
“And that’s enough for me. We have to take the shots we get.” Icarus spotted a driver speeding and swerving and knew that within twenty minutes Mr. Nascar will have crashed the car. Dangerous moves should be left to the pros. Pros like me.
“Yeah, I know but…”
“But nothing. Mondrian and his estate have higher security, this is a cakewalk in comparison.” He could feel Daed caving in.
“Yeah, but we’ve had no prep time.”
Coming around the corner was the tractor-trailer of his dreams. It looked perfectly ordinary, but Icarus knew the case was there. He thanked Carl in his head for the tip that led them there.
“Prep time is shorter than you think. It’s showtime.” The truck drove past. Timing had to be perfect. Icarus ran and leapt thirty feet down towards the moving truck.
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Next time I’ll include this section and the next one, essentially expanding as I complete sections. I’ll leave my all caps outline in there as that’s how I work. I delete the outline at the end. My first draft is usually quite sparsely written as above.
Peace,
Nick
Monday, January 30, 2012
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1 comment:
in the snoopy line you switch to first person narration and it is 3rd person everywhere else including the previous and following sentences. simple fix with the addition of "he thought to himself."
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